Couple-Care is a monthly series highlighting inspiring couples in our community. Each couple discusses how “couple-care” sustains their relationship, the self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other and more.
Milton Dixon and Rashaad Denzel are the true definition of being each other’s “better half.”
“Rashaad is definitely the more analytical, plan ahead type,” says Dixon, a Florida-born, Brooklyn-based stylist—known for working with the likes of Marc Jacobs, Shiona Turini on the Renaissance World Tour, and more. Meanwhile, “Milton is more spontaneous. He definitely gets me out of my comfort zone in that way,” adds Denzel, a North Carolina native, producer, and writer whose work can be found on the cover of Bully magazine and in his substack The Elephant Room.
How both of them met was “serendipitous,” as Dixon puts it. “I started noticing him on Instagram before we actually met and I was like, ‘ok, cute!’” he says. On the other side, “I remember definitely posting a lot more around then. I was trying to be seen for sure,” Denzel says with a laugh. “It worked.” About a week later, the two finally locked eyes at The Jane Hotel, via an introduction from a mutual friend. “We kind of skipped the whole small talk phase and we were immediately dancing and talking,” Dixon shares. “There was an immediate comfort.” Nearly five years later, they’ve essentially never spent a day apart since then. Most recently, they’ve been enjoying their domestic partnership. “That was such a touching moment in our relationship,” Dixon says. “I feel very protected. It’s not fake or surface level love. It’s real and he gives me that peace of mind.”
For Dixon and Denzel, couple-care is all about reminding each other that the little things go a long way. “We talk about making the bed and how a clean space means a clear mind,” Denzel says. “These days, we’ve also been talking about working out more together. I’m the kind of person who’s always going to want to take care of the people I love,” he continues. Dixon adds, “I think because we’re truly friends, we talk through everything, even when we make mistakes.”
Below, the Bed-Stuy-based couple discusses their couple-care routines—everything from their bath house rituals to park hangouts, and more.
Their Favorite Couple-Care Memory:
MD: I think about this often. I dealt with a lot of loss last year in my family, and my brother, and I was making trips back and forth to Florida to see my family. And then Rashaad joined me later on one of the trips. I was already in Florida and I had forgotten a lot of things when I was packing beforehand. He brought my jewelry and brought some skincare that I typically use. I felt like that was one of the real moments that let me know how much he cares and how much he pays attention. He understands that I feel naked without my rings. I wake up in the morning, I have this routine. I usually put on my jewelry, do my little skincare, make my breakfast—all the things that make me feel good. And in that moment, there was so much going on, I forgot a lot of that stuff.
He grounded me and reminded me to always do my routine no matter what. And even these days, he’ll be like, ‘I got these things for your breakfast.’ That to me is my couple-care. It’s knowing someone and paying attention to their routines. And knowing that sometimes you fall short of your routines that make you you and keep you sane. Knowing that he has my back is great.
RD: I love the days when it’s warm and we don’t really have much to do. We just get a bottle of wine, go to the park, and chill out all day. Often, we don’t really have to speak about it, it’s never planned. One of us just says, ‘you want to go to the park?’ And then we automatically get the things together—he grabs something and I grab something else. We’ve done it so many times that it’s second nature. Sometimes our friends will join and sit with us. Those are my favorite moments when it’s effortless. I love a trip, but I feel like days where there’s nothing going on are the best.
Their Individual Self-Care Routines:
MD: For me, my morning routine has become more and more crucial to my day to day. I’ll make my coffee. I make my breakfast, which is usually toast and some type of protein, and then I’ll sit, meditate for a little bit and then I’ll do some skincare. Maybe I’ll listen to some music, but I put that into meditation. It’s important for me to have that moment to mentally organize everything and regroup. It’s all about setting the tone. It’s like clockwork, by the time my toast is out of the oven, he’s waking up.
Because I travel a bit for work, I try to keep my routine as much as I can. I’m always going to order some room service. I love getting multiple drinks. I get an orange juice, a coffee, my water, and then I get a little snack. So no matter where I am in the world, that’s where I start.
RD: I don’t really have a routine that’s that strict, but I do the regular thing: make sure I’m hydrated. Because I work a lot, my routine is just centered around ensuring my brain is mentally prepared. So I have my podcasts that I listen to every day. One is a daily podcast that kind of gets my brain going. I also like to do my wellness walks. Additionally, I try to work out at least two to three times a week. When it’s warm, I love to run.
But as far as my other self-care, he’s gotten me more into getting pedicures and stuff. And, at least every couple months or so, go to a bath house. I love to sweat it out. If I need to detox, I like taking activated charcoal as well.
The Self-care Lessons They’ve Learned From One Another:
MD: I mean, I always knew these things existed, essential oils and all other holistic things, but I feel like I’d never used them as much as I do now. When we’re around the house, he’s like, ‘put some tea tree oil on it.’
RD: Yeah. I feel like that’s part of my holy trinity right there. Tea tree oil, black seed oil, argan oil, and eucalyptus oil. If I have those, then I’m good. Then I can make anything happen.
MD: I think him coming from the background of having a military father, I think he’s super organized. Even when we first moved in together, that was a hill we had to climb: where I had to get out of some of my habits and just to make him feel comfortable within the home. But in the end, even though there was a natural resistance to those things, I think I adopted a lot of these routines. As busy as I’ve been for years, I never used a calendar. I was just writing it down or having it in my memory. But he puts them on a calendar and even puts them in my calendar. He would sometimes make fun of me. I’d be like, ‘oh, when are we doing that?’ He’d be like, ‘check your calendar. After shaving my head, I also got better at shaving my hair with clippers because of him as well.
RD: On the emotional side of self-care, because I am so routine and analytical, he kind of deconstructs that a little bit for me. Sometimes I do try to plan and control everything. I think that ultimately stops me from even doing a lot of things. I feel like any Virgo can tell you that you can plan something to a point where you don’t even want to do it anymore… or you scare yourself out of it. And I feel like, because he kind of is the more spontaneous one, I feel like that’s the reason why now I have this new energy to even approach my career and my ideas differently.
The Products They’ve Introduced to One Another:
RD: I love the topical ingrown hair roller. It’s great because I have a beard. Aside from that, we love fragrances. I like more of a musky, spicier smell. He likes the more sweet scents. Smells.
MD: It’s funny because I was using this Comme de Garçon cologne and he loved it so much that it just kind of became his scent. Otherwise, it’s not a beauty product, but it is oat milk. Not that I didn’t know what oat milk was before him. He’s just very willing to try different alternatives which has opened up my mind. For example, he introduced me to this honey ginger which I love now. I also now drink oolong tea because of him too. I call it barbeque tea because it has a smoky scent to it.
Credits:
Photographer & stylist: Tyler Okuns
Brands featured:
On Dixon — Look 1: Le Blanc Studios cardigan, Pandora bracelet, rings, earrings and pants his own
Look 2: HOMME PLISSE ISSEY MIYAKE (top, vest and pants), Pandora earring
Look 3: AWET sweater with his own pants
On Denzel — Look 1: AWET sweater, jewelry and pants his own
Look 2: his own jacket, tank, and pants
Look 3: le PERE shirted shirt and pants his own